


Warm

by Emptylester (timelordangel)



Category: Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Humour, Implied Relationship, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Weed, drug mention, it was a lot of fun, kind of smut kind of not, not too deep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:38:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7517327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timelordangel/pseuds/Emptylester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan hasn't really smoked weed since University, but one night he decides to get Phil high for the first time. It's certainly an adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warm

Phil is, to put it lightly, irritated. 

Negative emotions don’t look good on him; the annoyed look on his face drags down his features and gives him the beginnings of a headache. He can’t escape the source though, which is Dan- who is unfortunately right next-door. 

Dan is smoking again. Not cigarettes, thankfully, but a different breed of plant known as Marijuana. Frankly, Phil thinks he has every right to be annoyed that Dan is smoking again. He had been fine with the fact that Dan used to smoke pot in University but ‘used to’ and ‘is currently doing it’ are two very different things and when he didn’t even tell Phil-

“Phil?” There is a knock on Phil’s door. 

“Yeah?” Phil doesn’t move from his bed, irritation leaking into his voice.

“You mad at me or something?” Dan laughs. 

“Nope.” Phil lies. 

“Come on man, let’s order food or something.” Dan pleads outside Phil’s door.

“Got the munchies, do we?” Phil can’t disguise the contempt in his words.

“Fucking- are you mad at me for smoking? I’m literally not even high.” Dan rolls his eyes at the shut door. 

“Sure.” Phil mumbles. 

“Can I come in?” Dan asks.

“Do whatever you want.” 

Dan comes in. Without speaking he sits on Phil’s bed across from him and puts his hand on Phil’s leg.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Chris and I were hanging out and he offered and you haven’t seemed bothered by the fact I did it at University so I thought you wouldn’t care.” Dan apologizes, rubbing his thumb in a circle on Phil’s leg. 

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Phil frowns. “I just worry about you.”

“You really don’t need to worry, it’s safe and I’d never overdo it.” 

“What’s it like?” Phil asks softly, his eyes widening. 

“Like…” Dan pauses, thinking, “watching the world through a movie screen. You still care about things and can understand them but it all seems kind of distanced. Everything is really funny.” 

“It sounds weird.” Phil smiles, subconsciously moving closer to Dan. 

“You want to try it? Just this once.” Dan smiles, expecting Phil to violently deny the offer. 

“Um.” Phil considers. “Yes?”

“Oh my God. Okay then, let’s do this.” Dan gets excited, standing up before Phil can change his mind.

Phil looks incredibly nervous on the bed, his eyes wide. 

“Come on, let’s go to the office.” Dan motions. 

“Why the office?” Phil follows him out into the hallway. 

“There’s a window and it’s far enough from our bedrooms where it won’t smell.” 

They sit across from each other on the sofa bed as Dan packs a bowl. Phil wonders why he has a bowl at all. 

It’s a pretty glass piece with blue and black swirls and Phil focuses on the design to avoid focusing on what he’s about to do. 

“There.” Dan says quietly, giving it one last push with his thumb and pulling out his lighter. “Watch and learn, my friend.” 

He holds it in his right hand and puts his thumb over the choke, showing Phil what he’s doing as he ignites the lighter in his left hand and holds it at the side of the bowl, inhaling slowly for five seconds. He holds a finger up to Phil to signal that he’s holding it in, and then after six seconds he releases the smoke and breathes in the rest of the bowl before releasing the choke. 

“Got it?” Dan coughs. 

Phil has an expression Dan can only interpret as “what the fuck”. 

“Okay, okay, right. Watch closely.” Dan repeats himself and this time, when he breathes out, he leans his head back and breathes out like he’s being eaten out, something Phil suddenly feels intrusive for watching. 

“You ready?” Dan asks with a slight smile, “I’m ready.” His cheeks are flushed and he won’t stop smiling. 

“Are you high?” Phil asks unnecessarily, stalling for time. 

“Yeah, it’s starting to hit me. You want to try? I don’t want to cash this myself.” Dan is giggling and it feels out of place. 

“I don’t know if I can.” Phil admits, feeling nervous. 

“Come on then, I’ll help you. I’m going to breathe it in, and then put my mouth against yours and you need to inhale it from me.” Dan explains, motioning Phil towards him, “It’s called shotgunning. Shhh, shhh, just do it.” 

Phil almost laughs at Dan but agrees, letting Dan light it and breathe in again. When Dan has a mouthful he motions Phil again and suddenly Phil realizes that they’re about to, essentially, kiss. He freezes. 

Dan gives him a look and lets go of the breath, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Bro.” Dan says, “What was that?”

“Am I supposed to kiss you?” Phil laughs. 

“It’s not kissing, it’s just like mouth to mouth resuscitation.” Dan rolls his bloodshot eyes. “Just do it.” 

Phil doesn’t trust himself. He doesn’t trust himself to be high, keep secrets, or have his lips that close to Dan’s. This entire ordeal screams “BAD IDEA PHIL” yet Phil keeps watching Dan inhale. 

Dan’s got a mouthful and he’s motioning at Phil and Phil decides to fuck it and leans in, awkwardly approaching Dan’s lips with an open mouth and trying to inhale as Dan breathes smoke into him. 

Phil does his best to hold it but ultimately ends up coughing and sputtering into his hand. 

“That went well.” He laughs at himself. His heart is beating fast and he’s not sure if it’s from the weed or the lip contact. 

“Phil.” Dan pauses, looking like he’s struggling to make eye contact with Phil, “Phil. I’m so high. Just. Do it.” 

Phil tries his best to remember what Dan did with the piece and inhales too fast, filling his lungs with thick smoke and for a second time seems to freeze. He fights every desire in his body to cough and just holds in the smoke, only breathing out once he feels lightheaded. 

“Fuck.” Dan laughs, “That was better.” 

Phil doesn’t feel any different. He definitely knows he got a better hit doing it himself, but he is tired of sitting here and just wants to be on Dan’s level. As if in spite, he does it again. 

Inhale: one, two, three, four, five.  
Hold: one, two, three, four, five, six.  
Exhale. 

Maybe his fingertips are tingling. 

Repeat. 

The bowl is pretty much cashed and they both know it. Dan packs down the last bit and takes another two hits after instructing Phil to ‘give it a minute’ and saves the very last hit for Phil. 

Phil inhales mostly ash and ends up coughing violently and spitting into the office bin. As he grips the sides of the bin he suddenly notices the world is spinning a bit and he laughs. 

“You okay?” Dan grins lazily from the sofa bed. 

“I.” Phil says and has to stop himself as he tries to sit up straight again and falls against the back of the sofa. He busts into laughter. 

“Oh shittt.” Dan cracks, laughing as he watches Phil. “How’s it feel?’

“Like.” Phil bites his lip, trying not to laugh, “being drunk. But funnier.” 

“That’s my boy.” Dan grins and puts everything on the desk, standing up. He runs a hand through his hair and ends up stroking his face for a minute. 

“What now?” Phil squints and steadies himself with both hands. 

“Just sit back and enjoy. But.” Dan squints, “not too much. Or you’ll fall asleep.”

“I don’t wanna sleep. What’s fun?” Phil closes his eyes and lets himself lay down. 

“Don’t!” Dan frowns, shoving Phil back into a sitting position. 

“Sorry.” Phil grins, showing all his teeth, like he can’t help it. 

“Eating is fun. Everything tastes fucking awesome.” Dan waggles his eyebrows. 

“Let’s get pizza.” Phil says immediately.

“Okay, but you have to call.” Dan heads for the kitchen. “Come on, let’s go downstairs.”

Dan’s halfway down the first flight when Phil realizes that he’s terribly uncoordinated sober, and much less when he’s stoned out of his mind. 

“Dan.” Phil bites his lip, for some reason he finds himself fighting back tears. 

“Phil?” Dan turns around, only to see Phil sitting at the top of the stairs with two tears running down his face. 

“I’m stuck.” Phil lets out a little sob, which turns into a laugh. “Save me.” 

Dan starts laughing again as he walks back up the stairs and sits beside Phil. 

“Scoot.” Dan giggles, moving his butt down a stair. 

Phil covers his mouth with his hand and follows suit, scooting down a step. They end up laughing hysterically as they scoot down the stairs, falling onto the carpet when they hit the main level. 

Oh, their mums would be proud to see them now. 

They eventually do call the pizza place on Phil’s phone. The conversation goes something like this, from what Dan can hear.

“Hi.” Phil says into the phone, grinning to himself. “Just. Two pizzas? Maybe. Texas Barbeque and vegetarian. I like one but my flat mate likes the other. I’m sorry. Here talk to him.” 

Dan is almost in tears with laughter when he takes the phone from Phil. The confused pizza man is asking how they’ll pay. “I’m so sorry, we’ll pay with cash at the door.” He gives their address and hangs up the phone, wordlessly handing it over to Phil. 

“I don’t remember what we ordered.” Phil buries his face in his hands. “I just wanted pizza.” 

“Shhh, shhhh, we got pizza. You did great.” Dan leans and rests his head on Phil’s lap. “You’re my best friend.” 

“You’re my best friend too.” Phil runs his fingers through Dan’s hair. 

“I’m sorry I made you sad today.” Dan mumbles, his face in Phil’s leg. 

“You didn’t, I was just nervous. This is fun.” Phil leans down and kisses Dan’s head, unable to control himself. For a moment he just breathes in the smell of Dan’s shampoo and shivers ripple through him. 

It’s a lot.

Dan takes 15 minutes to make them each a Ribena, returning to the lounge with a concentrated look. “I couldn’t get the amount right. It was always too strong.”

“Did you taste mine?” Phil asks from face-down on the couch, one arm hanging over the edge and running along the hardwood. 

“Yes. It’s perfect.” Dan kisses the glass and sets it down on the coffee table. 

Phil sits up shakily and takes a sip before bursting out into laughter. “It tastes like so much.” 

Dan looks sincerely disappointed. “You don’t like it.” 

“Nononono,” Phil grins and puts a hand on Dan’s leg. “I love it.”

Dan smiles and takes a sip of his own, accidentally spilling some down his chest. “Shit.” 

The doorbell rings. 

“Go change, go change. I’ll get that.” Phil stands and walks to the stairs, immediately plopping down and scooting down them. He tries to gain his composure before opening the door to a weary-eyed pizza man. 

“Sixteen pound fifty.” He said as he holds out the pizza boxes. 

Phil suddenly cannot comprehend how to hand over cash and take the pizzas at the same time. He stares blankly until the man makes a face and then lets out a nervous laugh. 

“You alright mate?” The man raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Phil says and takes the pizza before carefully setting it down beside him on the floor. He takes out his wallet and takes out a 20 pound note and hands it to the man. Without another word he shuts the door in the man’s face and walks up the stairs. 

Dan is shirtless in the lounge when Phil arrives. 

“Was that not the pizza man?” Dan cocks his head. 

“Yeah?” Phil squints, looking around. “I think he took the pizzas back.”

“Did you pay him?!” Dan runs to the stairs, hoping to catch the confused pizza man. “Phil, you idiot, you left them on the stairs.” 

Once the pizzas are safely on the coffee table and both men are situated, they begin their feast. Dan is wearing one of Phil’s shirts he stole from the dryer. 

“Fuck.” Phil swears with a mouth full of pizza, and Dan is taken aback. 

That bite of pizza leans Phil over a table and fucks him, hitting just the right spot. The moan that Phil lets out when the flavours collide and mix on tongue make Dan blanche. 

“You want to be left alone for a bit?” Dan coughs. He can’t even focus on the pizza. He’s having trouble focusing on anything, really. Phil’s not helping.

Phil actually has a hard on. Dan wishes he didn’t notice this but it’s kind of impossible in the too-tight jeans he’s wearing. 

“This.” Phil gasps after only one bite, “Is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“If you think eating is amazing, sex while high is outta this world.” Dan laughs and then pauses. He resists the urge to smack himself in the head. Why did he say that?

Phil pauses his pizza adventure to just look at Dan. As if it couldn’t get any more awkward, Phil then looks down at his crotch. Phil flushes completely red before bursting out in laughter.

“This pizza. It’s turning me on.” He keeps laughing, doubling over with pizza in one hand. 

Dan starts laughing again at this point, unable to control himself. They’re sat beside each other on the sofa with half eaten slices of pizza beside them just laughing, feeling like the very best of best friends. 

“Nothing feels real.” Phil says after he manages to stop giggling. “Not even you.”

“I’m real.” Dan laughs. 

“Are you sure?” Phil puts a hand on Dan’s shoulder. “Don’t have an existential  
crisis.” 

“Fuck off, I need to stay on brand.” Dan reaches out to swat Phil away but ends up touching Phil’s cheek. He could move it. But he doesn’t.

They could both move right now. But they don’t. 

They sit. Phil’s hand on Dan’s shoulder and Dan’s hand on Phil’s cheek. Both of them have bloodshot eyes and messy hair, pizza is smeared slightly on Phil’s face. The pizza is abandoned on the coffee table. 

Dan runs his thumb over the pizza smear and wipes it off, bringing his thumb to his lips and licking it off. 

“What-“ Phil begins, but stops when Dan swallows hard and looks away. 

“Sorry.” Dan sputters. 

“I can’t make it go away.” Phil laughs, ignoring Dan and looking pointedly at his crotch. 

“I’m sorry?” Dan says doubtfully, trying way too hard not to look. 

“It’s not your fault.” Phil pauses, “I don’t think so at least.” 

Dan raises an eyebrow. Did Phil just say he might have a hard on because of him?

“I don’t know anything right now. Everything feels so… good. Free. I kinddd of want to deal with this.” Phil isn’t even blushing. 

“Man, kush makes you shameless.” Dan laughs breathily, “I mean, as your best friend, if you want help, I- I feel like I should offer.” 

Phil kind of has the decency to look taken aback. “I don’t think so.” 

“Yeah, right. Okay.” Dan shakes his head, feeling ridiculous. 

“But,” Phil bites his lip, “You could watch.” 

This is ridiculous. In every porno there’s the one where the two best friends co-masturbate but that’s porn, this is real life. This is Phil. This is so, so wrong. 

And unbelievably hot. 

Phil, ruts into his hand a few times through the fabric before unbuttoning his jeans and taking out his cock. Without the friction of his jeans he has to work double time with his hand, his face falling into a O, his eyes shut. 

Dan about loses it. His own jeans are getting tight and he presses down on himself through the denim, his eyes fixed on Phil. 

Phil is moving his hips as he jacks off into his hand and makes small whimpering noises. 

“Fuck.” Phil breathes, his mouth barely able to form the word. “This is intense.” He chuckles breathily before opening his eyes and looking at Dan. 

“It’s nice, right?” Dan tries to act nonchalant. 

Nice is an understatement. Every touch feels like someone is pressing a vibrator directly against his G-spot and grinding down. Phil knows he’s close and he can’t control the sounds he’s making as he nears the edge; he’s a mess of soft grunts and moans until he freezes and comes silently into his hand. 

It’s like nothing else he’s ever experienced and it wrecks him. Without a word he collapses back on the couch and laughs, wiping at his forehead. He barely takes notice of Dan, eyes closed, touching himself through his trousers from across the sofa. 

He watches when Dan’s breathing hitches and he comes undone in his pants. 

For a little while they just stare at each other, both with wet clothes and messed hair. 

“I think you’ve gotten the full high experience.” Dan forces himself to speak, “You’ve had some killer pizza and orgasmed. The only thing left is to get a hell of a good sleep. And the best thing is, in the morning there’s no hangover.” 

Phil nods sleepily, “I feel weird.” 

“You’re just tired.” Dan assures him, closing the pizza boxes. 

"I'm so warm. You're so warm." Phil rambles on as they stand up, "It's all so warm."

"You're enjoying this too much." Dan grins.

“I’ll remember this in the morning?” Phil helps Dan bring the pizzas to the fridge. 

“Probably.” Dan laughs. “Do you want to?”

“’Course.” Phil grins, leaning his head on Dan’s shoulder. “You’re my best friend.” 

“You’re mine too. I’m glad you had fun.” Dan leans over to kiss the top of Phil’s head. 

“Next time we do this though, you’re ordering the pizza.” Phil giggles into Dan’s shoulder. 

By the time they fall asleep in their respective bedrooms they’re only slightly buzzed, but intoxicated enough to where both pass out almost immediately. Dan's right, Phil sleeps like a baby. 

They both remember everything in the morning.

They pretend like they don’t.


End file.
